Tag Archives: Mental Health

Wasting Your Time!

How is something a waste of time if it’s a learning experience? Why do people feel and think that when they get the short end of the stick their at a loss, or their time has been wasted? An associate was telling us about a lady he had been talking with for almost two years over the internet. They seen each other in person before one time, and she had been wanting to see him again, but he

thought she was way to aggressive in some of the conversations.  He felt as if she was a waste his time, more like a sponge person when he needed some of his free time to be absorbed. He said when they finally went out she could not keep

her hands to herself.  I asked him why was he wasting his precious time with a sponge anyway?  He said,” why would I turn down an easy lay? I  get bored, desire conversation, need my ego stroked, and need “cookie” like any other man.” There’s nothing wrong with this type of rational thinking if the person has good intentions for

both parties involved. Don’t get me wrong I’m not supporting being a shag. However, this man did say that “he was really ready to settle down and he thought she’d make a good candidate for a wife.

When you are seeking pleasure only in a relationship then there is a fine line between distinguishing what’s healthy and unhealthy.  When both adults agree to enter  into a relationship for pleasure they are not devaluing  love, because both are in it for pleasure only. Whereas when one person values love and the other person  doesn’t and wants the relationship just for pleasure than the relationship will feel unbalanced. Some women go crazy, or over board when they find out their partner just wanted them for a booty call. Men also feel violated when they feel their being used as sex toys.  It’s not fair for either party! Men and women argue and bitch about this pleasure concept endlessly.

A healthy relationship is based on EQUALITY, where both people in the relationship are considered equal and are treated with dignity and respect (something we all deserve in every relationship we are in). A healthy relationship uses compromise and negotiation to reach decisions that both parties are comfortable with and each person’s voice is valued. When this happens, when neither party tries to have power and control over the other, a non-violent and healthy relationship occurs. Healthy relationships don’t demand conformity or perfect agreement.  Be prepared to compromise or to disagree about some things.

Before you get involved in any intimate relationship you should know what you want. Either an acquaintance who is a person you know, but there not a close friend to you, or an associate who is someone who you befriend and enjoy keeping company with. It doesn’t take that long to figure out what kind of relationship category  a person will fall under in your life. But, It does take time to meet people and get to know them…so, make “small talk”…respond to others…smile…keep trying.   Being friends first is more than a cliché — enjoying someone’s company and becoming relaxed around someone are very important aspects of intimacy. A quality friendship takes time to develop.

Michelle Meadows-Thomas ©2012  Spiritualsoulfood. wordpress.com

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OMG! Do Young People Over use God’s Name?

Although God has already designed your “fate”in life.  Your very own personal predetermine destiny for you. He allows you to choose which path you are going to follow, either your own, or His. In addition to His wonderful generosity to you… He gave you a set of parent’s , to provide for you, to protect you , and guide you, until the age of 18.  Wow! Your very own free will. A set of parent’s to support you until the age eighteen!  What more can a person ask for? What an awesome God is He ?  If it wasn’t for God’s love where would a lot of young people end up?

From the very beginning of your life, God gave you a set of keys, to start your life’s engine, and a steering wheel to steer your life in the direction of your choice. You are given a free will to accept, or reject Him. You should at least thank God for this…  A lot of young people lose focus of their God-given birth rights.  And when this happens, a lot of young people lose focus of their fate, and ignore God’s word. They replace God’s word with: recreational drug use, over use of technology, sexual promiscuity, and joining gangs in order to fill that missing someone in their hearts.

What’s missing? It’s the Spirit of God in them.  Studies show that at the age of twenty-five your brain is fully developed, and by adulthood the heart is fully developed. In most western countries your considered an adult at the age of 18, but the legal age of drinking varies between 18-21. I believe that if you are still doing things like: drinking, smoking, and partying everyday at twenty five, that’s probably what you’ll be doing for a long time. You should really be calling on God’s name to get you out of this lifestyle. No ones perfect, and “all have sin and come short of the glory of God.”  That’s why God wants us to use Him as our life time mentor.

You can avoid  lots of pain, heartache, and bad choices by choosing the path He has assigned for you. If you decide to use God as your guide, and mentor you can’t go wrong. When you walk along with God you gain access to His divine wisdom and protection.  Every young person needs this, a mentor, and someone in their life who will hold them responsible, and accountable for their behaviors. Why not rely on God’s support for this?  You can depend on Him and trust Him to see you through your storms. Besides, the first name a young person usually calls on when they are in trouble is God’s name anyway. He has your back!

Young people are bombarded with way too many life choices, and obstacles to overcome. They can’t afford to walk it alone. Many young people fail at this age because some get tired of attending church services that have nothing tangible to offer them, and some have never made the choice to have a personal relationship with God yet. A young person needs to be reminded that, at this age being in God’s business, is the best business to be involved in. Church ministry’s should welcome young people who have a strong desire for leadership positions who want to recruit for God‘s kingdom.

May young people never give up on God’s word.  May young people who are set ablaze during church gathering never get tired of doing whatever it takes to spread the fame of Jesus — and may your leaders, churches and ministries welcome your passion with open arms.  A young person really can’t afford to omit God out of his or her life with out replacing Him with something else. That would be like having a body that functions without a brain, and  trying to replace it with another person’s brain, or like driving a car without gasoline, and replacing the gas with orange juice instead.

Your body can’t live without a heart, and your spirit can’t live with out God’s word either.  He’s where you get your fuel so that you can continue to steer your life’s engine. Yes, I get it.  A young person can choose to lean towards their own understanding, and some do, but God’s understanding is the highest.

Here’s what I want you to do next, Sharing Is Caring. If you like this article please share it. Thanks You!

Michelle Meadows-Thomas SpiritualSoulfood.com ©2012

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Inside Scoop! Overcoming Relationship Battles…

Relationship battles will be around for as long as the earth is alive. And how to articles about getting rid of unhealthy relationship will always be a hot topic.  Everybody plays the fool at some point, and time, in a relationship, and you, nor I , are no exception to this rule. The million dollar question to ask yourself is this: Where is my fine line drawn between love and hate, once I get out of my unhealthy relationship?

In other words, can I get out of a relationship that isn’t working for me and still love that person? Am I going to feel healthy by treating that person as if they are no longer alive? If I do this, what does that say about my character? How would I feel if someone wrote me out of their life? We all need to listen to our own heart and be in touch with your own feelings when it comes to handling our own intimate relationships.

That’s one reason why God wants you to guard your heart. You have to be critical and guard your heart, not just from the person whose breaking it, but from people on the outside who may be influencing your thoughts.  People love talking crap about relationships, and misery loves company. I’m not saying that you should not seek counseling, or other people’s advice on these issues that are troubling your heart. You just have to make sure whatever you decide it’s what you want to do with your relationship. And you should always exam your reasoning behind your decisions.

If your motives  are to cause harm to someone because they hurt you last week. Then ask yourself how long are you going to allow yourself to feel angry, and to be at war with this person? Is he or she worth losing your life for?  If your motives are to resolve the issue fairly and not cause harm, then proceed on with your battle. God has your back! People never stop to think that when they get into relationship conflicts they can become ongoing miniature battles If left unresolved.

You should always stop to take the time out to exam your motives when your relationship is in conflict.  This is why God, says, ” You can be angry, but sin not.” If your being fair and  know what you want out of this disagreement then you should be able to resolve this conflict.

But, remember there is no longer  I or, ” I want” when you’re in a relationship conflict, there’s teamwork! There are a lot of people suffering in relationships that need good sound advice. If you really want to learn about maintaining your relationship, seek God first with all your heart, and all your strength.  When you allow yourself to let God come in and fight your relationship battle for you, that’s when you see the greatest progress! He says, “vengeance belongs to Him”, and you know that God’s revenge is the best.

Let Him do it, and you sit back and recover. That’s when you will truly start your healing process and begin to untangle your relationship problems. You’ll joyfully let go of your hate for… or, anger you may be feeling.  And the sooner you do this you’ll  be in a better position to forgive, and on your way to establishing healthy relationships.

Reminder: There are no secrets, nor right, or wrong way in escaping an abusive relationship that one person has that you don’t already have. You just have to dig a little deeper inside your own heart and this time listen to it, there you will find all your answers to your relationship problems. God’s word….!  What do you think?

Here’s what I like you to do next If you know someone having relationship problems, share this with them. If you know someone whose not having conflict in their relationship you can still share! Sharing is Caring!

By Michelle Meadows-Thomas Spiritualsoulfood. wordpress.com © 2012