How is something a waste of time if it’s a learning experience? Why do people feel and think that when they get the short end of the stick their at a loss, or their time has been wasted? An associate was telling us about a lady he had been talking with for almost two years over the internet. They seen each other in person before one time, and she had been wanting to see him again, but he
thought she was way to aggressive in some of the conversations. He felt as if she was a waste his time, more like a sponge person when he needed some of his free time to be absorbed. He said when they finally went out she could not keep
her hands to herself. I asked him why was he wasting his precious time with a sponge anyway? He said,” why would I turn down an easy lay? I get bored, desire conversation, need my ego stroked, and need “cookie” like any other man.” There’s nothing wrong with this type of rational thinking if the person has good intentions for
both parties involved. Don’t get me wrong I’m not supporting being a shag. However, this man did say that “he was really ready to settle down and he thought she’d make a good candidate for a wife.
When you are seeking pleasure only in a relationship then there is a fine line between distinguishing what’s healthy and unhealthy. When both adults agree to enter into a relationship for pleasure they are not devaluing love, because both are in it for pleasure only. Whereas when one person values love and the other person doesn’t and wants the relationship just for pleasure than the relationship will feel unbalanced. Some women go crazy, or over board when they find out their partner just wanted them for a booty call. Men also feel violated when they feel their being used as sex toys. It’s not fair for either party! Men and women argue and bitch about this pleasure concept endlessly.
A healthy relationship is based on EQUALITY, where both people in the relationship are considered equal and are treated with dignity and respect (something we all deserve in every relationship we are in). A healthy relationship uses compromise and negotiation to reach decisions that both parties are comfortable with and each person’s voice is valued. When this happens, when neither party tries to have power and control over the other, a non-violent and healthy relationship occurs. Healthy relationships don’t demand conformity or perfect agreement. Be prepared to compromise or to disagree about some things.
Before you get involved in any intimate relationship you should know what you want. Either an acquaintance who is a person you know, but there not a close friend to you, or an associate who is someone who you befriend and enjoy keeping company with. It doesn’t take that long to figure out what kind of relationship category a person will fall under in your life. But, It does take time to meet people and get to know them…so, make “small talk”…respond to others…smile…keep trying. Being friends first is more than a cliché — enjoying someone’s company and becoming relaxed around someone are very important aspects of intimacy. A quality friendship takes time to develop.
Michelle Meadows-Thomas ©2012 Spiritualsoulfood. wordpress.com
Sharing is Caring!
- The Alphabetical order of relationships.. (dare2bvoulnerable.wordpress.com)
- Relationships and Improving Personal Life (upfrontmenblog.wordpress.com)
- How Good Are You at Loving? (psychologytoday.com)
- Inside Scoop! Overcoming Relationship Battles… (spiritualsoulfood.wordpress.com)
- What Compromise Looks Like on a Selfish Day (2blu2btru.wordpress.com)
- How to Reject an Unwanted Suitor (socyberty.com)
Although God has already designed your “fate”in life. Your very own personal predetermine destiny for you. He allows you to choose which path you are going to follow, either your own, or His. In addition to His wonderful generosity to you… He gave you a set of parent’s , to provide for you, to protect you , and guide you, until the age of 18. Wow! Your very own free will. A set of parent’s to support you until the age eighteen! What more can a person ask for? What an awesome God is He ? If it wasn’t for God’s love where would a lot of young people end up?
From the very beginning of your life, God gave you a set of keys, to start your life’s engine, and a steering wheel to steer your life in the direction of your choice. You are given a free will to accept, or reject Him. You should at least thank God for this… A lot of young people lose focus of their God-given birth rights. And when this happens, a lot of young people lose focus of their fate, and ignore God’s word. They replace God’s word with: recreational drug use, over use of technology, sexual promiscuity, and joining gangs in order to fill that missing someone in their hearts.
What’s missing? It’s the Spirit of God in them. Studies show that at the age of twenty-five your brain is fully developed, and by adulthood the heart is fully developed. In most western countries your considered an adult at the age of 18, but the legal age of drinking varies between 18-21. I believe that if you are still doing things like: drinking, smoking, and partying everyday at twenty five, that’s probably what you’ll be doing for a long time. You should really be calling on God’s name to get you out of this lifestyle. No ones perfect, and “all have sin and come short of the glory of God.” That’s why God wants us to use Him as our life time mentor.
You can avoid lots of pain, heartache, and bad choices by choosing the path He has assigned for you. If you decide to use God as your guide, and mentor you can’t go wrong. When you walk along with God you gain access to His divine wisdom and protection. Every young person needs this, a mentor, and someone in their life who will hold them responsible, and accountable for their behaviors. Why not rely on God’s support for this? You can depend on Him and trust Him to see you through your storms. Besides, the first name a young person usually calls on when they are in trouble is God’s name anyway. He has your back!
Young people are bombarded with way too many life choices, and obstacles to overcome. They can’t afford to walk it alone. Many young people fail at this age because some get tired of attending church services that have nothing tangible to offer them, and some have never made the choice to have a personal relationship with God yet. A young person needs to be reminded that, at this age being in God’s business, is the best business to be involved in. Church ministry’s should welcome young people who have a strong desire for leadership positions who want to recruit for God‘s kingdom.
May young people never give up on God’s word. May young people who are set ablaze during church gathering never get tired of doing whatever it takes to spread the fame of Jesus — and may your leaders, churches and ministries welcome your passion with open arms. A young person really can’t afford to omit God out of his or her life with out replacing Him with something else. That would be like having a body that functions without a brain, and trying to replace it with another person’s brain, or like driving a car without gasoline, and replacing the gas with orange juice instead.
Your body can’t live without a heart, and your spirit can’t live with out God’s word either. He’s where you get your fuel so that you can continue to steer your life’s engine. Yes, I get it. A young person can choose to lean towards their own understanding, and some do, but God’s understanding is the highest.
Here’s what I want you to do next, Sharing Is Caring. If you like this article please share it. Thanks You!
Michelle Meadows-Thomas SpiritualSoulfood.com ©2012
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- Digital resilience: Why technology matters (vodafone.com.au)
- Great Tips on Money Management and Young People (socyberty.com)
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- Youngsters given chance to make connections (career-advice.monster.co.uk)
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- The Problem with Passion (derrickluruth.wordpress.com)
- Boy locked up for throwing Sugar Puffs over care worker (mirror.co.uk)
- Young people today ‘better savers than their parents’ (telegraph.co.uk)
Relationship battles will be around for as long as the earth is alive. And how to articles about getting rid of unhealthy relationship will always be a hot topic. Everybody plays the fool at some point, and time, in a relationship, and you, nor I , are no exception to this rule. The million dollar question to ask yourself is this: Where is my fine line drawn between love and hate, once I get out of my unhealthy relationship?
In other words, can I get out of a relationship that isn’t working for me and still love that person? Am I going to feel healthy by treating that person as if they are no longer alive? If I do this, what does that say about my character? How would I feel if someone wrote me out of their life? We all need to listen to our own heart and be in touch with your own feelings when it comes to handling our own intimate relationships.
That’s one reason why God wants you to guard your heart. You have to be critical and guard your heart, not just from the person whose breaking it, but from people on the outside who may be influencing your thoughts. People love talking crap about relationships, and misery loves company. I’m not saying that you should not seek counseling, or other people’s advice on these issues that are troubling your heart. You just have to make sure whatever you decide it’s what you want to do with your relationship. And you should always exam your reasoning behind your decisions.
If your motives are to cause harm to someone because they hurt you last week. Then ask yourself how long are you going to allow yourself to feel angry, and to be at war with this person? Is he or she worth losing your life for? If your motives are to resolve the issue fairly and not cause harm, then proceed on with your battle. God has your back! People never stop to think that when they get into relationship conflicts they can become ongoing miniature battles If left unresolved.
You should always stop to take the time out to exam your motives when your relationship is in conflict. This is why God, says, ” You can be angry, but sin not.” If your being fair and know what you want out of this disagreement then you should be able to resolve this conflict.
But, remember there is no longer I or, ” I want” when you’re in a relationship conflict, there’s teamwork! There are a lot of people suffering in relationships that need good sound advice. If you really want to learn about maintaining your relationship, seek God first with all your heart, and all your strength. When you allow yourself to let God come in and fight your relationship battle for you, that’s when you see the greatest progress! He says, “vengeance belongs to Him”, and you know that God’s revenge is the best.
Let Him do it, and you sit back and recover. That’s when you will truly start your healing process and begin to untangle your relationship problems. You’ll joyfully let go of your hate for… or, anger you may be feeling. And the sooner you do this you’ll be in a better position to forgive, and on your way to establishing healthy relationships.
Reminder: There are no secrets, nor right, or wrong way in escaping an abusive relationship that one person has that you don’t already have. You just have to dig a little deeper inside your own heart and this time listen to it, there you will find all your answers to your relationship problems. God’s word….! What do you think?
Here’s what I like you to do next If you know someone having relationship problems, share this with them. If you know someone whose not having conflict in their relationship you can still share! Sharing is Caring!
By Michelle Meadows-Thomas Spiritualsoulfood. wordpress.com © 2012
A couple a days ago a friend of mind was telling me about a guy she had been dating who kept telling her how he needs her help, but, he’s never available when she needs him. [Red flag; hello, he’s not there for you physically.] Is he in another relationship I asked? She said, ” I don’t know, but, their last few conversations they had was disturbing to her, because he keeps asking me for money.” [ Red flag: A guys who respects you is not going to ask you for money]
She then tells me that she did loan him money one time before, and has never got it back.” I told her you might as well write that off as a gift. I ask her what does he need it for, food and gas she answers, and then he says, he would pay her back, and give her the money back she loaned him too.” I could not believe how foolish this sounded, I wanted to say are you joking me, but I could tell in her voice that she was serious, and that she needed a listening ear at the time.
How did you get involved with a man like this I asks her? She said, “he seemed like a nice working guy that had all his ducks in order.” I ask her what did she mean by this? She said, “when they first met he had just bought a house and he worked as a manager at the same place for over five years.” I asked her why is he asking you for money then? She got quiet. How long have you known him? She said,” almost one year. What is this relationship doing to you? Is it making you happy, or it making you sick? I could hear it in her voice that she was getting annoyed with my questioning.
She tuned me out and start talking about the conversation he and her just had about discontinuing communication at all levels, since they both could not depend on one another. She then went on ranting about most of the times they were both unavailable, but she felt like she was investing more into the “relationship” than him. I asks her why do you feel this way? She said, “I paid for his lunches a couple of times, and he offered me food only one time, and I had to cook it.” We watched movies at his place, until his house got repossess by the bank.” She said, ” after that they lost contact, she didn’t hear from him for several months, one day he texts her, and the same pattern starts over again, but this time he moves out of his apt the same week he calls her.” Okay I’m thinking how much longer can I listen to this nonsense. It gets worse, this time he doesn’t give her his new address, and he’s tells her he’s been over his mom house a lot. [Red flag]
At this point I say to her…I think this guy was doing you a favor by letting the relationship go. It’s quite obvious he’s not in a position to be in any relationship right now. If he’s interested in you, he will pursue you, when he gets himself back on track financially, and he will not be asking you for money, for food, or gas. Did you ever ask him for any money I asks her? She says, “she asked him during their last conversation to help with one bill just to see if he was financially willing to help her , and that’s when he decided to end their relationship. I told her well you need to rejoice and celebrate for him setting you free, and leaving you alone. And thank God! Your are a smart person, and this man has a conscious and a heart. You must have struck a nerve in him and made him feel guilty in this last conversation. You should be a proud of yourself.
- Short Story: Her Imaginary Boyfriend (literarychronicles.wordpress.com)
- Sugardaddy dating (whygirlsarejustsomuchbetter.wordpress.com)
- Diary of a Single Gurl! Ep. 11. My Boyfriend is an Asshole but I still LOVE him!! HELP! (aprillaugh.wordpress.com)
- I miss my boyfriend. This other guys is nice. Help! (ask.metafilter.com)
Why do so many couples prefer, or think that “cheating and sleeping around before marriage” is a God-given right to them? Okay, I get some of it– but maybe not the whole picture. A lot of unmarried couples share their bed, their home, their schedules, their bills, car notes, church pews, and their parenting skills. But they don’t share the last name, or a marriage certificate. Males are programmed with strong sexual appetites. Is this an excuses for them being promiscuous or sharing your bed though? Male reasoning, presumes, that it’s not their fault that their tallywhacker has an appetite like their stomach. It’s a male’s nature to have that urge, to be relieved. Ladies, what are some excuses we use for sleeping around? Victims of incest or child abuse are the number one stories. Satan loves using our weaknesses, past hurts, and pains, to trap us into making some foolish life decisions.
Maybe this is one of the reasons more women attend churches than men? They have been strung along emotionally in relationships for so long their tired of playing house. I can easily understand why a lot of men are not to quick to rush into marriage. By the time a women reaches thirty-something, if she not married , she needs to be under God’s protection, in my opinion. Can you imagine her praying to God asking for a husband and yet she has no standards? Thank God for salvation and forgiveness. Can you imagine the male buying into the fact that he can no longer share his tallywhacker with other women? He’s thinking you supported the open relationship with him in the first place. He thinking that’s a lot power to be given up to one woman who all of a sudden now wants standards. Besides, he’s used to having other ladies lined up to sleep with him when you start acting weird towards him. Ladies, we need to stop being so loose with our standards and start being obedient to God’s instructions.
God knew that men were going to have a hard time controlling their tallywhackers when he created him. That’s why a man knows he needs a women. Genesis 2:24-25, “For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh…” God created man with this particular body part in mind to procreate and to have pleasure. That’s were women come into the picture. Ladies, If your going to be that special pleasure someone for him, you should have his last name. There are too many women who are no longer reinforcing God’s requirements for men? Ladies, I had to do this to get my husband, and so can you. Ladies, that’s the least we can do for our children’s sake. There’s are lots of benefits having the same last name.
Your husband will “whisper” to you, in you ear, that as long your fulfilling his needs he will be loyal. But, if you not married to him “why should you expect him to stay loyal? Your not showing him that you have any self-respect, he’s already milking you. There are tons of benefits that come along with being married. And there are lots of women out there who do set standards, and those are the women that men marry. There’s to many women who will not set the bar high enough for themselves. It’s no wonder, some men “cheat” and act like, it’s their “God-given right.” Ladies don’t be afraid to raise the bar, if he doesn’t want to marry you then you move on with your life. I did and it worked in my favor.
Thank you for reading this article. Here’s what I want you to do next. If you like this message share it with someone.
- Unmarried First-Time Homebuyers: Who Gets the Credit? (turbotax.intuit.com)
- When We Talk About Single Ladies, Let’s Not Forget The Working Class [Relationships] (jezebel.com)
- In a Married World, Singles Struggle for Attention (well.blogs.nytimes.com)
- This Man Doesn’t Believe In Marriage – 10 Reasons Why He’s Wrong (thegloss.com)
- How does Austens views of marriage come across (wiki.answers.com)
Copyright © 2012 Michelle Meadows-Thomas